One kind word can warm three winter months. Halos one month na kaming hindi naguusap ng maayos na best friend ko. I`m afraid of loosing her. :| We`ve been through many fights before, super small ng reasons, but somehow, it ruined things. I`m not that sure sa reason ng fight na to` pero I know I did something wrong. I can`t talk to her kasi I feel like she`s tired of listening, and I feel like I don`t have the right. Kasi I myself, don`t dedicate time to listen to her. Even though I wanna blame the distance, somehow I can`t, kasi alam kong kaya naman lagpasan yun. I`m being too dramatic pero maybe I`m just scared. I included her sa future plans ko and I don`t wanna throw it away. We`ve let a number of people down just to keep our friendship, ang daming effort nun, kaya ayoko kalimutan. I hate being madrama. I hate madrama people. :| I hate myself. :| Gomenasai. :(

Though every time I remember our current situation, I wanna erase things and fix them. Pero I can`t. Though I want to. People get tired, I know. Pero akala ko kaya niya. Kasi ako, kaya ko. I called her slefish. Insensitive. Stupid. Pero I never heard anything like that from her. I get annoyed every time she try to cheer me up, kasi I thought she was trying to hard. She was. But she was expecting me to appreciate them. Gomenasai. :|

I never saw her importance. I never showed any appreciation. And now I`m loosing her. :| And I feel like a loser.